Odds on championship: 1,000-1. Odds on relegation: 10-1.
Manager: Alan Curbishley (since December 2006). Odds on first out the job: 9-2
Last season: 10th, 49 points; FA Cup third round; Carling Cup quarter-finals
Ins: Valon Behrami (Lazio, £5m), Balint Bajner (Liberty Salonta, undisclosed), Jan Lastuvka (Shakhtar Donetsk, loan), Om Eyjolfsson (HK Kopavogur undisclosed).
Outs: John Pantsil and Bobby Zamora (Fulham, £6.3m), Richard Wright (Ipswich, undisclosed), Freddie Ljungberg (contract mutually terminated).
If Bjorgulfur Gudmundsson could have his time again, then hands up who thinks he would appoint Alan Curbishley West Ham manager?
If Curbishley could have his time again, who thinks he would buy again, for those prices and wages, not just Freddie Ljungberg, but Craig Bellamy, Kieron Dyer, Julien Faubert, Lucas Neill...
Last season lacked the crisis of 2006-07, but Curbishley's side were steadfast in mid-table obscurity. Some of the blame lies with injuries, of course, but the doubts that everyone had about whether the manager could thrive away from Charlton or had reached his ceiling grow ever stronger.
That wasn't what Gudmundsson paid for. The Icelander has had less value for money than any of the Premier League's new club owners.
Neill joined West Ham instead of Liverpool because he was made a better offer by the east Londoners and there will always be players who take money over glory. The problem is, if you are an owner who wants glory, are those necessarily the players you want on your books?
With so many clubs bidding to be the new challengers to the Big Four, if you acquire a reputation for failure then more players will think twice - and you're locked into a pattern of paying over the odds.
The good news for West Ham, who gave starts to a couple of players on each side in the Champions League final, is that the youth scheme is still paying dividends. Freddie Sears, James Tomkins and Jack Collison are all making the step up, with Sears already a match-winner. But unless West Ham's form improves dramatically and the new level is achieved consistently, then how long until they are playing in major finals for other clubs?
Curbishley is some bookies' favourite to be the first Premier League boss out of his job and if he fails to beat Wigan on the opening day at Upton Park then the odds will be cut further. At the very least Gudmundsson will want the club to compete with Manchester City and Blackburn, and those are the next two teams West Ham face.
"Four-nil, we're gonna lose 4-0," the fans sang at Spurs in March - and a third straight defeat by that margin was the result. Curbishley will not survive another similar spell.
Philip Cornwall