It's that time of year again, when the sages of Football365 open ourselves to ridicule by predicting what will unfold over coming season. So take note of our wise words, and prepare to mock us come May...
Simple one to start - who will win the league?
Philip Cornwall: Simple? Last season was the tightest top four since 1997. More of the same, with Man Utd most likely to edge it.
Adam Fraser: Chelsea. United won't do three in a row.
Pete Gill: Manchester United.
Nick Miller: If United sign a top-notch centre-forward they will probably win on the last day. If not, Chelsea will pip Liverpool.
John Nicholson: Not Man Utd, surely three years running is too much of a stretch and their centre-back cover looks vulnerable. Arsenal look short of goals and so do Chelsea, who also need Carvalho to have another blinder of a season to be defensively strong enough. So this leaves me with the shocking conclusion that it will be Liverpool. Yes Liverpool. Stop laughing, I'm already feeling bad enough. More creative with Keane and more goals too, Torres is primo, they've a massive squad, solid midfield, alright the defence is a bit ropey beyond Agger and Carra but it's all the goals that turn draws into wins that will make them champions this year.
Sarah Winterburn: I do just fancy Chelsea though I do think we will get a genuine four-horse title race this season.
Which team will go down with Hull and Stoke?
PC: Bolton, due to lack of goals and having Gary Megson as manager.
AF: Middlesbrough, but I reserve the right to change that if they buy a goalkeeper.
PG: Hopefully Wigan, probably West Brom.
NM: Unfortunately West Brom. Their maverick policy of getting rid of three of their best players and not really replacing two of them can only lead to tears.
JN: Hull won't go down. Brown is the devil incarnate. How d'ya think he got that tan eh?! He's sold his perm-tanned soul for 4th bottom. Stoke, Sunderland and Wigan are your ones to go down.
SW: I was thinking Bolton until West Brom seemingly forgot to buy strikers, so I'll say the Baggies.
And will either of those two beat Derby's 'total'?
PC: Stoke's start is suitably unpromising and they may not pull out of an early depression.
AF: They'll both do better than Derby did.
PG: Yes, one of them will beat the other twice - and thus will be halfway to beating Derby's total of 11 with 36 remaining games to finish the job.
NM: Both will, although only just in Hull's case.
JN: Yes I think it'll be tight with four or five in the high 20s/low 30s. Stoke's Tony Pulis is a decent manager, Keano won't go down without a fight, and Bruce is used to scrapping it out at the arse-end so no one will be a push-over this year.
SW: Stoke will do equally as well as Watford two seasons ago - bloodying a few noses along the way - but Hull could struggle to get past that 10-point mark.
How many points will Liverpool finish behind the champions?
PC: Single figures and it won't be their turn again to be fourth.
AF: More than five, less than ten.
PG: Eight.
NM: Less than five. Seriously.
JN: They will win the league by one point. Scoff if you want, some time before you and I die, Liverpool will win the league, so if I keep saying it, like a broken clock I will be right once eventually.
SW: No more than five. I genuinely believe they will still be in the title race in April.
First manager to go?
PC: Gary Megson - which may just save Bolton.
AF: Curbishley, although there might not be too many early sackings this year.
PG: Alan Curbishley.
NM: Should be Megson, might be Curbishley, but I'm going to go with Keggy throwing another wobbler and retiring (again) to the golf courses of Spain.
JN: I think all the promoted sides' managers have got enough kudos and capital to survive, as do Bruce, Keane and Megson after last season. I could make a case for Curbishley on the basis of sheer boredom but Hodgson seems the most likely. Spending £6.3 million on Zamora and Pantsil puts you under pressure from the get-go.
SW: Has to be Alan Curbishley for me. I'll be amazed if he's still in situ by the end of October.
Will Cristiano Ronaldo be that good again?
PC: Have to say no, because I'm not sure I could bear his ego getting any bigger.
AF: Not quite.
PG: Not in terms of goals scored - not least because he will miss the first two months of the season. Can't help but suspect that his injury is, in part, a consequence of burn-out having pushed himself so hard and for so long last season.
NM: Nope. He'll be half-cooked due to lack of pre-season, and won't get going until November.
JN: Not anywhere near as good. High-class form is like a really hard erection, once it's gone, the next one is never quite as good. At least at my age. And he shows all the signs of being totally self absorbed and distracted by his own magnificence.
SW: He won't be that good. He couldn't be. He'll be just about good enough to be still worth £60m next summer.
Will Mark Hughes do a better job than Sven?
PC: Sven's better signings will have had an extra year, the youngsters will have come on, so you'd expect a more consistent City regardless.
AF: City will finish higher than ninth, but he's hardly starting from the same place.
PG: Sven did a good job, but Hughes is the tough-guy manager they now require to make the next step up. So that's a sort of 'yes'.
NM: Yes, but given Sven did a cracking job and still got the boot, will it be enough? He might decide it's more bloody trouble than it's worth.
JN: Nope. I see an almost identical season for City under Hughes with a top-nine finish only with more muscular nut-cracker style thighs on the touchline.
SW: The question should be 'will Mark Hughes be allowed to do a better job than Sven?'. It's difficult to see how they can go beyond the 6th-9th bracket without more investment. How's this for a flier? Hughes to walk out of City and take the West Ham job because he's sick of the machinations?
Which newcomer will have the biggest impact?
PC: Luka Modric.
AF: I'm very excited about seeing Carlos Villanueva, although he's only a baby.
PG: David Bentley will take a spot in the England team courtesy of his move to Spurs.
NM: Luka Modric.
JN: It'd be tempting to go for Deco but Jose Bosingwa will probably play more games and have a bigger impact. The Premier League seems to be a good place for rampaging full backs who aren't that good defensively.
SW: Deco. Will add that touch of inspiration that Chelsea have been lacking.
And which one will flop horribly?
PC: Johan Elmander.
AF: Elmander. I don't know what Bolton are thinking.
PG: It won't be horrible but I do wonder if Giovani Dos Santos has the pace to crack the Premiership and if Deco can last a full campagin.
NM: Not sure if it will be horrible, but Spurs fans might pine for the stable, Robbo glory days once they cop a load of Huerelho Gomes coming for crosses.
JN: Arshavin - if indeed he signs for Spurs. If he was consistently any good he'd have had a big move before the age of 27. Shows all the signs of being a good-game-in-every-five player.
SW: Johan Elmander - £11m for less than 11 goals and a relegation battle.
Who has the best chance of cracking the top four?
PC: It's not going to happen this season - someone will just happen to finish fifth without threatening the top four in the spring.
AF: Spurs, if they can handle the loss of you-know-who.
PG: Tottenham, but they won't unless they buy a defensive midfielder.
NM: Probably nobody will, but Spurs and Portsmouth will have an entertaining, goal-filled go.
JN: I feel dirty saying it but Portsmouth. Defoe and Crouch could really work. Big and little can be effective especially if Big isn't a total lummock. With a spine of James, Distin, Diarra and Crouch, that looks bloody good to me.
SW: Spurs without a doubt. They could just as easily finish fourth as 14th but that will be the beauty of them this season.
Which transfer saga will be boring us all this time next year?
PC: Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid.
AF: Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid, and Ashley Young to a top four team.
PG: Fabregas to Barcelona, Richards to ManYoo.
NM: Same old, same old.
JN: Fabregas to Real Madrid. Though Mourinho will surely try and raid Chelsea again.
SW: Apart from Ronaldo to Real - which will be done early doors - it will be Fabregas back to Spain after another trophyless season for the Gunners.