In 'honour' of Joseph Barton's conviction for battering an unfortunate in Liverpool, here are ten more footballers who have spent time at Her Maj's pleasure. Some grim tales are this way...
Gary Charles
His career was notable largely for being the man on whom Paul Gascoigne shattered his knee, but it was post-retirement when the shenanigans really started for Gary Charles. He served two terms in prison in 2004, the first for drunken driving, the second for ripping off his electronic tag and skipping off on holiday to Spain, and then was given a suspended sentence for assaulting a woman in a taxi office in 2005 when she made jokes about his career. Despite the suspension of that sentence, he still managed to serve two weeks inside for turning up to the court drunk, and was then given a further year in the clink after threatening a bouncer with an imaginary knife.
Jermaine Pennant
Famously played for Birmingham while wearing an electronic tag, Pennant was given three months in the slammer after driving into a lamppost at 6am in the morning while 'tired and emotional'. Hilariously, when an officer of the law asked his name, Pennant gave the only sensible reply - 'Ashley Cole' - then claimed he lost control of the vehicle while changing his sat-nav. It didn't help matters that Pennant was also disqualified at the time, but claimed he thought his ban had been lifted after his aunt read aloud a letter from the DVLA.
Duncan Ferguson
No stranger to having his collar felt, Ferguson was jailed after his fourth conviction for assault. The unusual part of this one - as we all know - is that the incident that did for him was on the pitch while playing for Rangers. 'Duncan Disorderly' spent 44 days doing porridge after head-butting Raith Rovers' John McStay during a match in 1994, breaking his parole for the earlier 'mishaps'. Some enterprising young criminals discovered they'd chosen the wrong house to rob a few years later, when Dunc put one of the rapscallions in hospital for three days after they attempted to liberate assorted trinkets from Casa Ferguson.
Mickey Thomas
In the days before footballers took home six figures a week, the former Chelsea, Manchester United and Everton midfielder found a novel way to boost funds. Thomas was jailed for 18 months for his part in a counterfeit currency scam after being caught handing round dud notes to trainees at Wrexham. Not that prison appeared to be a massive bind for Thomas, who told The Observer in 2002: "The first place I went, Walton prison in Liverpool, was tough, but after that I had it quite comfortable inside. I made sure I had the best of everything: whatever I wanted to drink, plenty of days at home and, towards the end, I even had my own car." This country, etc and so on.
Tony Adams
One of the leaders of Arsenal's famously enthusiastic and thirsty revellers before Arsene Wenger and his continental ways arrived, Adams served 58 days of a three-month prison sentence after driving his car into a wall while sozzled - to the tune of four times over the limit - in 1990. Adams admitted his alcoholism years later, and recovered with the soothing help of Caprice, the piano and Plato.
Mick Quinn
The famously well-upholstered striker, who used to claim he could beat anyone in a race over three yards, was detained at Her Majesty's pleasure after being rumbled for a series of offences, including claiming unemployment benefit while very much employed by Wigan in 1986. Quinn was given two weeks inside after twice being caught driving while disqualified, claiming that he was fetching medicine for his ill girlfriend. Interestingly, Quinn went on to incur the wrath of the authorities in his new career as a racehorse trainer, after he was banned for two years (reduced to one on appeal) for neglecting his animals in 2002.
Lee Hughes
While the antics of Thomas, Adams and Pennant can spark laughter, this is one that contains absolutely no mirth. Hughes was sentenced to six years in jail for causing death by dangerous driving after he collided with another car and fled the scene of the accident before turning himself in 36 hours later. Douglas Graham, a passenger in the other car, was killed, while the driver Albert Frisby spent three months in hospital and was forced to use a wheelchair. As we all know, Hughes served a little under three years of that jail term, and was given a contract by Oldham upon his release last year.
Tony Kay, David Layne and Peter Swan
Former England international Kay was once the most expensive player in the country when Everton paid £60,000 for him in 1962. However Kay, Layne and Swan were all jailed in 1964 for betting on their side - Sheffield Wednesday - to lose against Ipswich. Wednesday lost 2-0 and the trio collected their bets, but were rumbled after Jimmy Gauld - the man who initially approached Layne - sold his story to the Sunday People later that year. Interestingly, Kay was one of the first people to be convicted on the basis of a taped conversation, and after his release was invited to enjoy the company of the Kray twins, who were keen to find out more about this new-fangled recording business. He then spent 12 years on the run in Spain after selling a fake diamond ring.
Mark Ward
Former Everton and Manchester City midfielder Ward was jailed for eight years in 2005 after being found with 9lb of cocaine - worth around £645,000 - after a police raid. Having fallen on hard times after his retirement, Ward was apparently asked by some shady characters to rent a house, in which the beak - along with assorted other druggy paraphernalia - was stored. Ward claimed he knew the drugs were being stashed there, but denied involvement in any deals. However, he was sentenced for possession with intent to supply after traces of the Bolivian marching powder were found in the boot of his car.
Marlon King
King was sent to the chokey for 18 months while at Gillingham in 2002 for being caught behind the wheel of a stolen car. King tried to claim the motor was his, but the judge was having none of it. This prompted the memorable heckle while King was at Nottingham Forest: "I bet you f**king ran faster than that when the old bill were after you." And it wasn't King's only brush with the law. Shortly after the nasty business with the car, he was acquitted of assaulting a police officer after allegedly smashing a bottle of vodka over a constable's head. The officer had accused King of causing a traffic jam by stopping his car so his passenger could have a wee. King pleaded self-defence.
Nick Miller