Like the rest of the nation, Fleet Street's finest spotted very little to get excited about as England laboured to a 2-0 win over the eleven defenders of Andorra. Compelling entertainment this was not...
'Andorra had Ayala, Pujol and Xavi on the teamsheet, but they were not the real ones. England had Terry, Lampard and Rooney, but they were not the real ones either. Not for the first time, here in Barcelona England's players managed to look like imposters. There is something about wearing this shirt that makes high calibre Champions League performers for their clubs look like a rubbish tribute band for England.
'That they escaped without the kind of fearful ear bashing from their own following they were afflicted with last time is progress of sorts. But progress in terms of team development? There is evidently a long way to go. A match-winning cameo from substitute Joe Cole in the second half was not enough to mask the general torpor against predominantly part-time opponents' - Amy Lawrence, The Observer.
'For England and Fabio Capello this was an unpleasant formality. Beating the foul-happy Andorrans and their brutal brand of anti-football is a pretty thankless task. And for 49 minutes England struggled to do that, locked into grim goallessness. It was the half-time introduction of Joe Cole that got England out of that hole, as he scored twice to make the best of what was looking an increasingly bad job. And so the national side continue to stumble and blunder.
'Capello, in excluding Michael Owen, had insisted only players in peak condition would be in his team. Joe Cole's exclusion from the starting XI could only then be explained by the slight calf strain. But if so, it must have been very slight indeed because he played without impediment on his belated arrival. There is no question now: he must start against Croatia in Zagreb on Wednesday' - Duncan White, The Sunday Telegraph.
'A win is a win, as football folk everywhere habitually tell us, but if a tight group should come to be decided on goal difference, Capello and his players may rue the failure to fill their boots here. Two-nil barely passes muster against these whipping boys of the international game, and there were embarrassing echoes of the corresponding fixture in March 2007, with England again booed off after a grim, goalless first half. It needed Cole's introduction to raise their level above the scrappily mundane. The Chelsea man scored twice within 10 minutes of getting on, making what had been a tortuous task look easy.
'If a tedious match lingers long in the memory of anybody other than its two-goal star, it will be for David Beckham's overdue relegation to the bench, from where he was given a late cameo, in place of Frank Lampard, that was almost an afterthought. Interestingly, he operated just in front of the back four, where his lack of mobility was not the problem it is when he plays wide on the right. A rehearsal for Zagreb, perhaps?' - Joe Lovejoy, The Sunday Times.
'When you pay £6million a year, you expect something for your money and last night in Barcelona, Fabio Capello delivered the first redemption on the enormous investment English football has made in his tactical acumen.
'It should be stressed it was a very minor repayment, and more substantial debts will be called in during the run-up to the World Cup finals in South Africa in 2010, notably in Zagreb on Wednesday against Croatia.
'Nonetheless, if coaches are expected to play the scapegoat when footballers cannot perform, they will have to take the plaudits when their changes rescue their teams. Last night England were stumbling towards one of their now trademark inept performances, with a display devoid of energy and incision against a collection of the best electricians, teachers and municipal officials that a Pyrenean principality could muster.
'In a goalless first half that would rank alongside the worst that Steve McClaren's regime had offered up, Capello gave little away. He merely stood with arms crossed, a face like thunder. His side were jeered and mocked by the few thousand England fans who had subjected themselves to watching the national team in the eerily empty Montjuic Olympic Stadium, where Andorra are required to play their biggest international matches' - Rob Draper, The Mail on Sunday.
'Against the pot-pourri from the Pyrenees England, eventually, came up smelling of roses. For a while there was a slightly more unpleasant smell as they were dragged into the ordure by their modest but obdurately chippy opponents, a rag-bag of part-timers and obscure but in-your-face journeymen. It was Joe Cole who scented success with two rapid goals after coming on as a substitute just as he had done in his last appearance. Ten goals for his country now for Cole and the last three of those have come inside 10 minutes of play.
'England go forward to meet Croatia. It will be a whole new ball game in Zagreb, which may be a relief. Attack against defence, as it was last night, can be tedious for the participants as much as the spectators but neither was there much on display for Slaven Bilic to fear. For Fabio Capello, though not a happy figure, there were three points and for a deep-rooted pragmatist like the Italian that was all that really mattered in his first competitive match as England's manager' - Jason Burt, The Independent on Sunday.