Group A - Chelsea, Bordeaux, Roma and FC Cluj
On paper, Chelsea and Roma should saunter through this group with the sort of casual insouciance usually displayed by French models in Paris cafes.
However, while we all know how strong Chelsea have looked so far, Roma's season has begun with a cough and a splutter. An opening day draw against ten-man Napoli was followed by a 3-1 defeat to Palermo this weekend, with new signings Julio Baptista, John Arne Riise and the exciting French winger Jeremy Menez yet to convincingly make up for the loss of Mancini to Inter.
They kick things off against the splendidly named CFR 1907 Cluj on Tuesday, who we confess we know little about, so here are a few factoids to impress girls with.
Their squad features Canadian goalkeeper Lars Hirschfeld, who Spurs fans may remember spent a brief period on their books in 2003/4. He didn't appear at the Lane, but instead played a handful of games for Luton, Gillingham and Dundee United on loan, before moving to and making a solitary appearance for Leicester. Also, Cluj are making their first appearance in the Champions League, having won the double in Romania last season, breaking the Steaua/Rapid/Dinamo Bucharest dominance of the last 17 years. It's was a remarkable achievement for Cluj, given that they were in the third division but six years ago. Think Wigan pipping United, Chelsea and Arsenal to the Premier League.
There you go. Roll out those bad boys in a bar and you'll be beating them off with a stick.
Completing Group A is Laurent Blanc's Bordeaux, who last season finished a creditable four points behind the all-conquering Lyon in Ligue 1. Watch out for the latest great hope of French midfield play Yoann Gourcuff, who is back in France on loan following a disappointing spell with AC Milan. Signed to be Rui Costa's heir, Gourcuff impressed precisely nobody in Italy, but shone for the French national side in their recent 2-1 win over Serbia.
Group B - Panathinaikos, Inter Milan, Werder Bremen and Anothosis
Boy it's good to have Jose Mourinho back in football.
The rival managers of Serie A are currently finding out what it's like to be on the end of Jose's withering shrug and acerbic put-downs, with Catania the latest to be on the wrong end of a Special Barb. Mourinho said "had I played in goal in place of Julio Cesar, nothing would have changed" after Inter's 2-1 win at the weekend. A Catania suit blustered: "Someone who says something like that has no respect for his opponents, nor for the coaches or the nation that accommodate him. Mourinho is one that simply should keep his mouth shut." Marvellous.
On the pitch, Inter have started steadily, preceding that Catania win with a draw at the always tricky Sampdoria. The pressure will be on Mourinho to deliver in Europe this season, given that he was brought in with the Champions League in mind. Roberto Mancini won three Serie A titles but never got further than the quarter-finals in the top competition, something that head honcho Massimo Morratti decided simply would not do.
None of the others should (in theory) provide Inter with an awful lot of trouble, but Werder Bremen will be favourites to take the second spot, although they're not quite the side of a couple of years ago after Miroslav Klose and Tim Borowski were sucked up by the talent-hoover otherwise known as Bayern Munich. Brazilian playmaker Diego will probably be the next to go, while they also 'boast' Claudio Pizarro, currently on loan from Chelsea.
Of the others, it will be a surprise if the Henk ten Cate-led Panathinaikos pull up too many trees, despite/because of the presence of Gilberto Silva in their midfield. Meanwhile, Cypriot side Anorthosis Famagusta (confusingly not based in Famagusta at present) have already caused one upset in the competition, knocking out Olympiakos in the qualifying rounds to become their country's first representatives in the group stages. You'll probably recognise their manager too - the slapheaded, frankly mental Temuri Ketsbaia.
Group C - Basel, Shakhtar Donetsk, Barcelona and Sporting Lisbon
At first glance Barcelona will have been laughing when this draw came out, but another look - combined with Barca's decidedly ropey start to the campaign - suggests that confidence might be misplaced.
Most Spanish sages' pre-season favourites for La Liga, Barca limped to a 1-0 defeat to Numancia first up, then could only draw with Racing Santander this weekend just gone. Josep Guardiola and his selection of suspect knitwear won't be worried just yet, but much more of this and the white hankies will be flapping in the Catalan breeze.
Barca face Sporting on Tuesday, who have just about managed to hold on to their prized assets over the summer, despite some of the big boys waving large wedges of cash under their noses. Hefty bids for Miguel Veloso and Joao Moutinho were repelled, and a couple of cheap but possibly astute signings were made in the shape of Helder Postiga from Porto and Marco Caneira from Valencia.
Shakhtar travel to Switzerland to play Basel in the other game, and the Ukrainian champions should provide a problem or two over the campaign. Captained by the impressive Croatian Darijo Srna and with a squad liberally sprinkled with Brazilian talent (including striker Brandao), Shakhtar have bloodied the noses of more illustrious opponents in the past, and while it's a cliche to say that nobody enjoys travelling to Donetsk, it's a cliche because it's true.
Basel make their first appearance since 2003, when they made the last 16, beating Juventus on the way. They come into the game in cracking form with the Swiss Super League already nine games in, having won eight and lost one. And yes, Christian Gross is still their manager.
Group D - Liverpool, Marseille, PSV and Atletico
A stinker of a group for Liverpool, arguably the most open in the tournament.
They face Marseille first up, who are something of an unpredictable outfit. They've started this term well, and on occasions last season they looked exceptional, and one of those came in their trip to Anfield in last season's competition. Liverpool were expected to make short work of their Gallic opponents, but instead were - for want of a better word - stuffed, after Mathieu Valbuena's brilliant volley sealed things. Of course, Liverpool had the last laugh by spanking L'OM 4-0 in the return game, but it should be a cautionary tale for Rafa and the boys this weekend.
Marseille had an interesting summer in the transfer market, selling Samir Nasri but replacing him with the immensely promising Hatem Ben Arfa. All square there then, but eyebrows will have been raised by the loan signing of Derby right-back Tyrone Mears in covert circumstances, after the defender crawled underneath Paul Jewell's office window in order to escape the home movie enthusiast's clutches.
The other game on Tuesday sees Atletico Madrid travel to Eindhoven to face PSV. Atletico were probably the most entertaining side in La Liga last term, in part down to some magnificent attacking talent in the shape of Sergio Kun Aguero, Maxi Rodriguez and Diego Forlan, but also because of some frankly hilarious 'defending'.
However, they may just have tightened things up at the back this time around, with Johnny Heitinga and Tomas Ujfalusi forming a bloody terrifying looking partnership at the back. They trounced Schalke in the qualifiers and spanked Malaga in their La Liga opener, but suffered a slight setback this weekend by losing to Valladolid.
Their hosts on Tuesday have won the Eredivisie so many times it's getting boring now, with four straight titles under their belts, and their bid for a fifth has started handily with two routine wins over FC Utrecht and Sparta. They boast one of the more exciting young talents in European football too, in the shape of ludicrously swift winger Ibrahim Afellay, who already has three goals to his name this season. With Afellay buzzing around on the flanks and the burly Danny Koevermans up top, PSV will cause a few problems, but their squad looks a little shallow to mount a strong challenge. Still, they do have a decent recent record in the Champions League, having made the semi-finals in 2004/5 and the quarters in 2006/7.
Nick Miller
Fear not, Groups E-H will follow on Wednesday.