An Old Favourite Returns, But Ronnie Says 'Do One' To Chelski Because They're Big Nasty Mean Boys, Keggy Gets Ahead Of Himself, Ben Foster Sent To Coventry And More...
Someone just sign something...
A Resigned Gossip Column Brings You The Latest Exciting, Enthralling News On Didier Drogba, And Another Chelski Striker, And Who Might Replace Him, Spurs' New Keeper And...
We've Heard This One Before Somewhere, Didier Drogba's Ever-Decreasing Value, The Sun Are Lightning Quick Off The Mark, Juve Look To Blighty For Defenders And Much More...
A Rumour That You'll Be Hearing An Awful Lot Over The Next Few Months, Go On - Have A Guess What It Is, Steve Sidwell Almost Literally Becomes The New Scott Parker And More...
Juve Want Big Fat Frank To Buy Himself Out Of His Big Fat Contract, Some Old News From The Daily Mirror On Rafa And Pepe, Magic Juande Turns His Attentions To Nets And More...
Barca Want Ronaldo, Gallas To Get Deal For Life And More...
The Mirror Put Their Own Unique Interpretation On The News Of Keggy's Meeting, Crouch And Hyypia Might Leave Liverpool, But Then Again They Might Not And A Whole Lot More...
Everyone wants to leave Chelski...
It's all change at Chelski. Vaguely speaking...
Roman Rewards Rubbish Management With A Great Big Pot Of Cash, Atletico Want A Decent Keeper, And His Name Is Jose, Sir Dispatches Agent Louis To France And More...
Lots of moving around in North London...
Milan Look To London For A Replacement For The Sadly Departed Ronaldo, Pete Kenyon Plays Silly Buggers With Roman's Chequebook, Toon Over-Paying For Someone? And More...
Benzema Will Set ManYoo Back Around £45m, If He'll Come At All, Lampard Off And Luka In At The Bridge, Hyypia And Alonso First Out Of Anfield, And Russians Get Their Hands On Arsenal...
Wahey! Normal Service Is Resumed With Some Actual Gossip, In Which Barcelona Seem To Feature Rather Heavily, So This Way For Xabi, Lahm, Deco, Pique And More...
It's A Slow Time For Rumours, So The Tabs Have Started Recycling, So This Way For Word On ManYoo's Latest Portuguese Uberkid, Chelsea Have A Scrap On And So Much More...
Karim Benzema Cruelly Snubs Fergie's Advances, Not That Any Advances Were Actually Made Mind, Ben Arfa Plays Copy-Cat, James Is Going Nowhere And Oh So Much More...
By Golly Gossip Is Thin On The Ground This Morning, But Come This Way For All The Latest Exciting News On Jaaskelainen, Daniel 'Three Clubs' Cousin, Chris Coleman And More...
Spurs Want David James, Clichy And Sheva Off...
Sir's Grudging Respect For Arsene Turns Into Pure Copy-Catting, The Sun Insists Keggy Has Put His Transfer Plans On Hold, Then Draws Up A Shortlist Anyway, Nuge Goes Back And More...
Spurs Want Another Right Back, Although To Be Fair A Lot Of People Like This One, Moyes Chasing A Power Player, One In And One Out At Villa, Cesc's New Deal And More...
Just Where Is Didier Drogba Going Now? If Sam Eto'o Gets His Way, It Will Be To The Sunny, Sunny Med, Arsenal May Completely Reverse Their Transfer Policy And So Much More...
The Papers Pick Up On News You Already Knew About (Thanks To Us With Our Fancy Internet), Wayne Bridge Finally Realises He's Better Than That, Dunne's Been Reading And...